My my my, I've only been awake for about 45 minutes and already I am having the pit in the stomach feeling of being overwhelmed. I can't really say its a bad thing or a good thing. First, I forgot we were supposed to get some snow, and well, 9 times out of 10 that I heard that statement this winter its been like a spit storm here. Its really weird for me on this side of the state because for so long I was used to all that thick lake effect stuff and we don't get that here. So in my groggy semi sleeping phase of filling up a bottle for Alex this morning and having to blink twice at the site of the snow outside the kitchen window, I was overwhelmed. This was a good kind of feeling for me, now, don't get me wrong, Im really ready for Spring, but wow! snow! I would say 4 plus inches on the ground, and it really is coming down. I will attempt to take some pictures later.

That was the next reason I felt overwhelmed. I have a pretty nice camera thanks to my husband spoiling me, two actually! I have my Nikon D60 and my normal, but still very nice digital camera. I feel really stupid because I am totally in awe of photography, and I really loooove taking pictures, but lately I haven't been taking as many. Nor have I even read my owners manuals. I am more of a hands on learner I would say, but I really think I need to read the books, and internet, and maybe buy "d60 for dummies". Maybe I should try to take a beginners class at either the local college or try to find one in the community. I would really love some better pictures of my crochet, and other things in general....which leads to..

Then I got to thinking about my crochet...and I really got a mix of up and down feelings. Now I have been trying to sell my crafts for a few months now, and I have many supporters that say " Its about time!" but really it hasn't been what I expected. Im not really sure why I expected it to be any different because people seem to either have no clue about "handmade" or the love it. After having a conversation with my husband about my current and recent orders he seems to feel that I don't price properly. I think Im scared that if I have someone ask me an amount that I will sound crazy if I don't make it appealing. Then again, I really do know I deserve more. It really flusters me and I anytime this happens to me with a potential customer, I feel like I have to explain why I charge what I do. I think its really a self esteem thing. Or the fact that Ive had a lot of interest but when I name a price, and then get nothing further from the person, its rather depressing, almost angering. I mean, really? Its not so hard to ask how much, and then if you are put back by the price, just simply say "thanks" or something? However, I do think I have been cutting myself short....mostly because of previously stated reasons, but also because a lot of my customers are friends. Boils down to what people will think of me, and well, I don't really think that is fair. My "talent" is really just a self expression. On a different note, I really get a good feeling when people post nice comments on my sites. This leads me to why I was happily overwhelmed. I have seen so many things via the internet that I really want to do. I really want to take better pictures and possibly sell them, I have soooo many patterns bookmarked or saved on raverly, not to mention books and print outs of them that I really want to do. I think this is bad because my time is rather limited now. I just wonder how these people do it! I think its the fact that their children, if younger, go to school. I think that they must have a lot of free time at work or this is their work. I guess I get to thinking about my future and how I will accomplish all the projects I want to do..probably just going to have to wait til retirement lol.

And lastly, Alexander overwhelms me. I don't mean for this to sound bad. My child is by no means bad, hes an absolute blessing. He is learning like crazy. I am however, very on edge about this surgery. His eye has been clear for going on 3 days now, not completely, but lets just say I could take a picture of him confidently. But avast, I know this is trickery. I know it will come back the second he has a fit and tries to cry. Im nervous about his surgery in every way. I really want it to work and to not have to repeat anything. It is not even til March 16th but then again thats less than a month from now.

All and all, overwhelmed suits me today (so far ;) )

Le Sigh

Can I just let out a huge and long Sigh for just a moment. The world just never stops for somethings that I feel it should. Im not exactly sure if it is a sigh of relief, frustration, exhaustion, or a mix of a few things, but man it feels good to just siiiiiighhhhhh.

After returning back to town from the funeral services of Maxwell Fuelling, we are still not back to normal. Joshua started a night shift AGAIN, only this one is a bit more reasonable I guess. We will see if it lasts. This way he is able to on and off sleep in, and allow me to do the same, which is great cause Im not really a morning person. He can also give Alex lunch. He misses 2 baths but has been able to say goodnight to Alex also on his lunch break. I like that much, but I dunno.

Ive been working on crochet toys lately. They are rather a pain for me to get used to, but Im getting there and they are getting easier.

Theres Moko the Cat pattern finished. Just have a bunny to get done with. Im not really happy with how the first one turned out so Im going to see if my friend likes the other one better.

Chow.

Maxwell D. Fuelling

My Goals for 2010

I decided I should write my goals down, otherwise I may loose site of the tasks at hand. Its only fair to myself to make sure I complete as many of these little tid bits this year as possible. I have been feeling the need for more accomplishment in my life lately. Ive really been having the annoying little voice in my head call me a slacker for a while now, well Ive decided its time to shut that voice up. So here goes nothing!

My Goals For 2010:

• Loose all the baby weight.... that's about 8 more lbs to go I figure.
• Get more toned, and in better shape
• Improve my blood numbers that were striking from my physical
• Eat better to help with the previous
• Play with Alex more: taking him for walks, to the library, etc. Instead of playing inside all the time
  
• Spend more time loving my husband. I found out that I can be more affectionate to him.
• Improve my spending habits. I don't go overboard but I can do somethings differently.
• Try cooking new meals. The same old same old is getting old.
• Make more times for dates out with the husband. Trust a sitter and get over leaving the kiddo behind. We deserve it and he will not love us less for it.
• Break Alex of the bottle for good. He should already be off it as far as Im concerned but we will try.
• Narrow and nail down a path for school and make that less of a dream and more of a reality. I have the itch to go back to school. Via tele-course, online, or classroom, I don't care, I need to finish something I started.
• Be more positive. I realized over the last few months of 2009 that I had become a rather negative person about many things, and I truly hate how that made me feel. Its not me.
• Make pillows and curtains. ON the SEWING MACHINE :)
• Paint and decorate my kitchen to my liking....til we can afford any sort of remodel.
• Read more. I still am lacking on the Twilight series which I really love.
• Crochet and Knit more. Its just in my blood
• Get the craft room up and running. Save money for this sort of thing and get r done. I need this space desperately because my hobbies are spreading to other parts of the house.
• Be more organized. Period.
• Manage my time better.
• Get a new dishwasher. DON'T let Josh tell me he will try to fix it anymore, its been over 8 months without one and I'm tired of it.
  

• Learn to be more excepting of things I cannot control or change.

Now I'm sure I will add more things because its a new year, but I just feel like this will help me keep track. I'm a list person. :)

And now I can share some pictures of the projects and such Ive been doing lately. :0) Enjoy

My baby turned 1!

Jessi and I at the Lady Gaga concert

I really don't know where our child gets his insane hair!

My cousin got married and these are my sisters :)

I made some hats for a pretty little girl named Autumn, and I really love how they worked out :)


You can see Autumn wearing the second one here: Autumn's Story

Alex's latest funny : You say belly or belly button and he lifts up his shirt and points to his stomach laughing and smerking. I decided I better teach him to do it to himself since I was sick of him lifting up my shirt and doing it to me ;)

Well..... I have to say that Im depressed....we have no snow on our side of the state yet... SAD!

Okay, so I totally stink at blogging, and maybe someday I'll do better, but Im doubtful that will come til at least after the holiday season. Once a month I guess isn't too terrible ;)

Just celebrated Christmas with the extended family this last weekend. It was a really good visit. Alex got some really awesome toys to play with that he really enjoys so far. Poor lil fella is still fighting the sickness. However, he likes to stand solo more and more so we are hoping for the steps to fallow really soon, hoping but not pushing. :)

Things have been going well with Crochet Medley. Ive made enough sales to get a few gifts here an there, which is exactly why I started trying to sell more. I wish I could have had more things in my shop for the holiday shoppers but next year that shouldn't be an issue. Still, my fans and customers have been awesome and I couldn't have asked for more.

Absent & birthday

Oh man, times are even more hectic around here than I expected. Its okay though, I like staying busy so I don't get bored. I just have neglected reading/writing blog entries :( I haven't vanished, but I do feel like Im starting to repeat that line a lot lol. Things are going alright here. We three are battling crud but I am just happy its not the flu. Sadly though Alex is not better and because of that he cannot get his h1n1 shot til next week. We will see if the doctor can get us something for the little guy. He seems to be sounding worse but getting better if that makes sense. Hes still very happy, except when its bed time and hes waking up to cough. Today is my birthday and its been a great birthday thanks to friends and family. The hubby replaced my compact camera for me, after a lil trouble with the first purchase we got it right on the second try. Also, we hadnt had Logans in a while so we ate there for my dinner and it was yummmm. Little man is starting to stand solo here and there, for a couple few seconds, most the time he just gives up but when we aren't pushing him he will be doing it off in a corner by himself :) I hope hes walking soon, I really do. He has mastered DADA, and CACA for daddy and cat. Im still gahgah or bahbah, not mama. Sigh. This weekend begins the Nov crazy for us, my cousins bridal shower :)