Monday, July 27, 2009

Manic Monday - first post

Gosh, I am feeling pretty lame having this blog for so long and never using it. I really should. Ever since Alexander was born its been a crazy life. I never really imagined motherhood this way, but that's a good thing. He's truly my pride and joy in every way I could ever think of.

Joshua's new job is going rather well, which I wasn't sure if he was really going to take well to it or not. So far so good. This base here is very different from what he's used to but he is fitting in really well, and I think he is happier where he's at over where he though he wanted to be. I'm so happy that I am able to stay at home with the babe because of him. However, I get the itch to work a lot, or do something, sell something, read and write something. I really want to get into school already, I feel like I quit college and that's that, and that doesn't sit well with me. Someday when things have seemingly settled around here maybe I will be able to, but I'm thinking its going to still be insane while taking classes. I don't really miss retail, except a few people I worked with.

My friends back home I truly miss. At least our best friends are near us, and although Josh continues to grow close with his co-workers I feel a hole. Its been a very long time now since I have seen my former best friend and it still stings, still pisses me off, still hurts. Its so completely awkward to chat with her now. I don't know it feels strained still. I blame myself for that, I probably should have handled it differently. Now we are at similar points in our lives and its feeling like this would be a great time for our friendship to blossom even more than it was, but its just not. Maybe I should just give in a bit of my white flag, not sure. If there is one thing about myself that I pretty much hate is how I hold on to the past, a grudge if you will. At the same time, Ive always felt that people take advantage of me, such is life I guess.

I have been itching to get my craft room together! I love this house, really I do, but we still feel like there is sooo much to do and really there is. I want to remodel the kitchen and bathrooms, but its stinkin' expensive. At least I watch a lot of HGTV and DIY so I have some vision.

I finished our little niece's blanket finally, now its on to finish Alexander's. I should have never put any of my crochet down I love it so much. Maybe I can get Jessi into it and we can find a group get together around here to go to. I really need to scrapbook also. Again, the craft room has to get done.