Monday, February 22, 2010

My my my, I've only been awake for about 45 minutes and already I am having the pit in the stomach feeling of being overwhelmed. I can't really say its a bad thing or a good thing. First, I forgot we were supposed to get some snow, and well, 9 times out of 10 that I heard that statement this winter its been like a spit storm here. Its really weird for me on this side of the state because for so long I was used to all that thick lake effect stuff and we don't get that here. So in my groggy semi sleeping phase of filling up a bottle for Alex this morning and having to blink twice at the site of the snow outside the kitchen window, I was overwhelmed. This was a good kind of feeling for me, now, don't get me wrong, Im really ready for Spring, but wow! snow! I would say 4 plus inches on the ground, and it really is coming down. I will attempt to take some pictures later.

That was the next reason I felt overwhelmed. I have a pretty nice camera thanks to my husband spoiling me, two actually! I have my Nikon D60 and my normal, but still very nice digital camera. I feel really stupid because I am totally in awe of photography, and I really loooove taking pictures, but lately I haven't been taking as many. Nor have I even read my owners manuals. I am more of a hands on learner I would say, but I really think I need to read the books, and internet, and maybe buy "d60 for dummies". Maybe I should try to take a beginners class at either the local college or try to find one in the community. I would really love some better pictures of my crochet, and other things in general....which leads to..

Then I got to thinking about my crochet...and I really got a mix of up and down feelings. Now I have been trying to sell my crafts for a few months now, and I have many supporters that say " Its about time!" but really it hasn't been what I expected. Im not really sure why I expected it to be any different because people seem to either have no clue about "handmade" or the love it. After having a conversation with my husband about my current and recent orders he seems to feel that I don't price properly. I think Im scared that if I have someone ask me an amount that I will sound crazy if I don't make it appealing. Then again, I really do know I deserve more. It really flusters me and I anytime this happens to me with a potential customer, I feel like I have to explain why I charge what I do. I think its really a self esteem thing. Or the fact that Ive had a lot of interest but when I name a price, and then get nothing further from the person, its rather depressing, almost angering. I mean, really? Its not so hard to ask how much, and then if you are put back by the price, just simply say "thanks" or something? However, I do think I have been cutting myself short....mostly because of previously stated reasons, but also because a lot of my customers are friends. Boils down to what people will think of me, and well, I don't really think that is fair. My "talent" is really just a self expression. On a different note, I really get a good feeling when people post nice comments on my sites. This leads me to why I was happily overwhelmed. I have seen so many things via the internet that I really want to do. I really want to take better pictures and possibly sell them, I have soooo many patterns bookmarked or saved on raverly, not to mention books and print outs of them that I really want to do. I think this is bad because my time is rather limited now. I just wonder how these people do it! I think its the fact that their children, if younger, go to school. I think that they must have a lot of free time at work or this is their work. I guess I get to thinking about my future and how I will accomplish all the projects I want to do..probably just going to have to wait til retirement lol.

And lastly, Alexander overwhelms me. I don't mean for this to sound bad. My child is by no means bad, hes an absolute blessing. He is learning like crazy. I am however, very on edge about this surgery. His eye has been clear for going on 3 days now, not completely, but lets just say I could take a picture of him confidently. But avast, I know this is trickery. I know it will come back the second he has a fit and tries to cry. Im nervous about his surgery in every way. I really want it to work and to not have to repeat anything. It is not even til March 16th but then again thats less than a month from now.

All and all, overwhelmed suits me today (so far ;) )

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